This hefty workbook covers nearly every aspect of the cult experiences in approximately 200 pages of instructions and 100 pages of worksheets. The worksheets solidify the concepts and offer readers the opportunity to describe their own experiences. The author, Gillie Jenkinson, tells the story of the abusive Christian groups she and her husband once followed, and how she became a therapist to help people who went through similar trauma. Many of the worksheets in the book are derived from her years working with clients.
I love a good workbook and was delighted to find one specifically for former cult members. To take this book in as pragmatically as possible, I decided to read the 300-plus pages first, then go back and fill in the worksheets. It took 10 days to read the book, then I spent 2 days filling out the worksheets. At first I thought I might write on my computer or in my journal but decided to fill in the worksheets as they appear in the book. This makes it easier to review parts of the instructions, as needed, and there’s a sense of satisfaction in seeing the worksheets completed. Jenkinson suggests using colored pens, so the first day I used a turquoise blue pen, and the second day I used a lime green pen. That definitely made it more fun. As a dedicated book lover, I never mark up a book with a pen. But this book was made for it and writing my thoughts in the book was the most proficient way to do it. In just 2 weeks, the book changed my life! I feel the instructions helped me identify the burdens I carried from my group, then the worksheets helped me dump the garbage.
Jenkinson weaves the workbook into a journey through an area like the place where she lives in rural England. In old times, her region was a crossroads where merchants transported their goods on packet horses. Ancient milestone markers still remain along the roads. She divided her book into four regions and fifteen milestones. Region 1 is where people physically leave their group; Region 2 is where they leave psychologically. Region 3 is a place to heal emotionally, and Region 4 is where people learn to walk free from their trauma.
The milestones are a place to note how far we’ve come and how much farther we have to go on the journey. For example, Milestone 7, “Understanding traumatic stress,” has an illustration that shows the ex-member with a rucksack almost as big as herself, and a milestone marker with a bird sitting on top and flowers growing at the base. Jenkinson says, “We have now reached the Milestone where we will sit down and unpack the baggage related to the traumas you may have experienced in your life, especially as a member and since leaving (p. 131).” The object of the milestones is to unload useless baggage we’ve carried all this time but don’t need to carry any longer.
In Milestone 10, Jenkinson analyzes and expands upon Dr. Robert Jay Lifton’s eight criteria of thought reform1:
- milieu control
- mystical manipulation
- demand for purity
- confession
- sacred science
- loading the language
- doctrine over person
- dispensing of existence
Lifton’s research has always been the gold standard when it comes to describing the symptoms and characteristics of a cult. However, Lifton’s research was centered around political violence, not cults. Jenkinson explains and applies Lifton’s eight criteria directly to cults, making it easier for ex-members to relate to his analysis. Jenkinson provides one or more worksheets for each of Lifton’s criteria. Then in Milestone 11, she adds information on the double bind, cognitive dissonance, and gaslighting, which build on Lifton’s findings.
As you fill out the Lifton-related worksheets you can rate your group on how they did with each manipulative criterion: “Never,” “Seldom,” “Sometimes,” “Frequently,” or “Always.” I gave my group five “always” ratings and one “sometimes.” I couldn’t rate them on the other two criteria because I wasn’t sure if all those things were going in the group. At least I did not experience them.
My favorite milestone was number 12, “Unmasking the Leader.” Over the 35 years since I physically left the temple, I have tried to put the leader out of my mind, so I haven’t thought about him much. However, the prompts and questions in the worksheets of Milestone 12 allowed me to spill my guts and come to a new realization about the “guru” for the Los Angeles temple where I lived, as well as the other bad leaders.
One of the prompts was to answer the question, “Was your leader ‘evil’?” (M12.3, p. 255) I filled it out with one sentence: “I think most of them were just arrogant and stupid.” This felt good to finally realize. Let’s just say they thought they were qualified to lead a sprawling non-profit religious organization, but they didn’t know what they were doing. Milestone 12 also has a worksheet for personal experiences with the leader (M12.7, p. 264). In my situation, because the guru’s office was right across from our office, we saw way too much of him. He was usually in a bad mood, so we took a lot of verbal abuse. Question 4 of the worksheet asks, “Was the leader the reason you joined, or stayed, and what was it about him?” I wrote, “I joined in spite of him and stayed in spite of him.” Going through this section clarified my thoughts about the guru, and I was able to purge the garbage I still carried around in my metaphorical rucksack.
I found a few worksheets that didn’t apply to my experience, and the author gives us the freedom to fill out what we want, how we want, with no judgment on what we write. The book includes two additional chapters outside of regions and milestones—one is advice on seeking therapy, and the other is a chapter of advice for therapists. The last worksheet, M15.1, asks the reader to write a list of recovery tips (p. 312)! Filled with optimism, I rattled off enough tips to fill the page.
The book is inclusive and addresses emotions like guilt and shame, issues like abuse and sexual abuse in cults, trauma, and the mindset of the abusers. This workbook is geared toward people who grew up as the second generation, or one of multi-generations of a group. It also applies to people who joined as adults like I did. It would be a perfect gift for someone just leaving a cult but also works to uncover hidden grief and pain from people who left their groups 30 or more years ago.
